We can avert premarital mistakes and divorce by learning God’s view of popular dating myths.
Family Counseling Ministries -
Family Counseling Ministries
Do you know 11- and 12-year-old children who are dating? Early dating causes negative consequences in our children—physically, spiritually and emotionally. In the 1st article of a six-part series on dating, Dr. Don Dunlap examines five popular dating myths in light of God’s Word: the Independence myth, the Sexual Freedom myth, the Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry myth, the Marriage myth, and the I’ll Change Him myth.
In our society, we often hear of eleven and twelve year-olds going on dates. Many parents encourage early dating and push their young children to grow up fast. In addition to the fact that dating damages children emotionally, the statistics of sexually transmitted diseases and out-of-wedlock pregnancies among our youth are both staggering and heartbreaking.
Many people create future problems for themselves by mishandling their dating experiences.
The success or failure of our dating habits determines many aspects of our future lives and happiness. If Jesus Christ is truly Lord of our lives His Word has a profound impact on the way in which we
conduct our dating lives.
When we acknowledge Jesus as our Lord we submit to Him as His servants. Our highest goal in life is to carry out His wishes, which He identifies in His Word.
The majority of teenagers and young adults do not understand the biblical principles regarding dating. Either they have never been taught the pertinent scriptural truths or Satan has succeeded in deceiving them.
We must not allow ourselves to fall prey to the many dating myths that are prevalent today.
Many dating myths abound within the Christian community. The first one is the “Independence” myth. People with this mindset are determined to do whatever they please. They are determined that no one is going to tell them what to do or get in their way. The Bible instructs unmarried people, however, to submit themselves to God, to their parents and to other authority figures that God has placed over them for their protection and guidance.
The second myth is the “Sexual Freedom” myth. Countless young men and women become involved in premarital sex with one another because they believe this myth. They misinterpret the physical desire they feel for one another, as love. They assume that those feelings of “love” justify sexual immorality.
God calls this defrauding—stirring up in someone, desires which we cannot righteously fulfill. The writer of Mark 10:19 warns against this practice, “You know the commandments…Do not defraud.”
The “Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry” myth is a widespread deception among young people today. They believe that no matter how rudely or offensively they may behave, the object of their affection should not take it personally and should simply “get over it.” They consider an independent spirit to be a virtue, and a humble attitude to be weakness. People who love others with Christ-like love are willing to humble themselves before someone they have offended, admit their wrongdoing, and ask for forgiveness.
Just because someone is “in love” and old enough to marry, doesn’t mean that he or she is necessarily ready for marriage.
An alarming number of casualties result from the “Marriage” myth. Young people reason that because they are “of age” and “in love,” they should get married. God’s Word teaches us that love is only one of the many ingredients necessary for a successful marriage. God gives our authorities the wisdom and the responsibility to help us discern the right life partner.
Perhaps the most destructive of all the dating myths is the “I’ll Change Him” myth.
Young men and women who ascribe to this theory believe that after the marriage ceremony, their marriage partner will begin to change for the better. This is a false assumption. Most people usually put their best foot forward before marriage. After two people exchange their vows and begin to live intimately with one another, they tend to discover even more character flaws in this person to whom they have committed their life. We can avert many premarital mistakes and divorces by learning God’s perspective on these popular dating myths.
Dr. Don Dunlap, a pioneer in the placement of Pastoral Counselors in the offices of Christian physicians, has conducted over twenty thousand appointments during his ministerial career. His counseling practice includes adults, children and families in crisis. Dr. Dunlap is committed to facilitating a network of telephone counselors. His goal is to provide help for the many people unable to meet face to face with a competent Bible-based counselor. For a complete library of Dr. Dunlap’s articles, indexed by topic, go to Family Counseling Ministries. You may also make an appointment for personal telephone counseling by clicking on Family Counseling Ministries. Family Counseling Ministries is a Christianity.com ministry Partner.
